Sunday, November 29, 2009

Tiger's accident and my hatred of all things Detroit . .

Alright, so, that lasted one day . . . 'that' being the momentum that the Blues created for themselves. On Saturday they hosted the Red Wings (hurts to even capitalize their name) and played a great first period 2-0 and then got outscored 1-3 the rest of the game leading to an overtime and shootout scenario where we were in it the whole time, but Todd Bertuzzi (yes, he of the mugging and cheap shot school) made a pedestrian out of Mason on the last penalty shot - forehand to backhand to roof over gloveside. Got me thinking about how much I hate Detroit, how many years we were competitive with them, coming up short in the playoffs virtually every time. This dislike led to the much misguided following of the Colorado Avalanche as a vicarious foil for Yzerman & Co. Hockeytown USA? Really? How about Buffalo? Minneapolis? Just because you're close in proximity to Toronto doesn't give you the right to claim you are the capital of American hockey. Gordie Howe - blah,blah. How many Cups? 5? 10? I don't care, just happy that they don't have Ovechkin, Crosby, Carter, or EJohnson. (That DHelm looks like a great little player though.) Jealousy you ask? Yeah, bite me.

Okay, so news broke over the weekend that Tiger was involved in a 'serious' accident. He ran into a fire hydrant in his neighbors yard at 2:30a in the morning on Friday after Thanksgiving. Taken to hospital with facial lacerations, police and parameds on scene, wife Elin broke out back window of Escalade with golf club, no alcohol involved. Hmmm, possible explanations have ranged from dog/cat interference to Elin throwing a fit over an alleged affair. Tiger is being tightlipped and calling the events leading up to the accident 'embarrassing' and 'private'. Using his words, I've come up with a list of my own on what might have happened:
  • Dude was hungry and needed a crave case
  • Learned of Walmart's doorbuster deals and urgently needed to get his hands on the cheapest off-brand HD TV for the garage
  • Was sick of changing diapers
  • Grew tired of listening to his swimsuit model wife bitch and moan about how few diamonds she has and just 'had to get away'
  • Remembered that he left his 'special putter at the course and needed to retrieve it for some night putting, you know, putting at night
  • Was really giving the neighbor a lawn job for not inviting him over a party the night before
  • Was testing the off road capabilities of the Escalade and thought, 'Watch this baby take on that fire hydrant'.
  • Dropped a stogey on his new, prototype golf pants - water and wind proof but not fireproof
  • Was headed into town for a loaf of bread and a quart of milk
  • Headed to meetup with his Cialis source
  • Heard Phil was coming in on an early flight and wanted to spread nails & other debris on the runway
  • Was hitting a new danceclub in town that plays only Cablinasian techno hits
  • Forgot he ordered a pizza three hours earlier and was trying to make up the time by cutting through the nighbor's yard
  • Was juggling cell phones while driving, trying to figure out which one was the illicit, unpaid one that he lets the hookers use
  • Thought the hydrant was really a paparrazzi camera placement
Whatever it was, now that it's got the news coverage, time to come clean Tiger. Squeaky clean image be damned. Maybe if you disclosed that this was something that happened to normal people, that would be okay too.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Picking up the pace - finally.

Well, well, well. What a difference a couple weeks make! Coming off a dreadful few games where it appeared everyone on the team making more than $2 mil/yr was going on siesta for the first half of the season, the Blues are in the midst of a nice run including a win last night @NSH where the boys beat the hottest team in hockey, winners of 7 straight. C-Mason had a huge game, Backes is on a points streak, Kariya scored on a sweet assist from Oshie, and the team generally looked like they wanted to win. Now we need a good December. We don't want to have to come from 12th place to try to take the last playoff slot with three months left - Now is the Time to move up the standings. Another game tonight with Detroit - looking for Conklin to get the start.

Also, neat promotion going on at stlblues.com. Brett Hull's going to be honored for his hall of fame induction and he will pick his favorite all time Blues team based on guys he played with. Fans are invited to submit their own guesses as to who the 23 players are that Brett selects. Winner gets tix and VIP access for the game at which Brett is being honored. Interesting candidates out there - Brian Noonan?, Pavol Demitra?, Adam Creighton? Bernie Federko? Of course, Oates, Janney, Gretzky, MacInnis, Duchesne, Housley, Stevens, J. Brown. Should be fun.

Detroit tonight. Let's go Blues!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

H-ween costumes & how we can't score on Vokoun

Here are my favorites costume ideas for next year (never too early!) assuming they will still be relevant, of course:


1) Drunk airline pilots: Seriously this is a great idea. You'll still look good, being able to dress in a suit with a tie and some sort of pimpin captain's lid has a lot of pluses with the ladies. Dusting off the Top Gun-style aviator sunglasses = bonus. And then the ultimate, ever present accessory = a rcok glass with some whiskey in it! Brilliant. Props to Nelly & Co. for pulling it off this year (clown notwithstanding).







2) Batman and Robin: This assumes your date/girlfriend looks as good as this chick! I'll have some of that please. And with the suit doing the hard work of making the physique look better than it likely is, all you have to worry about is poking someone's eye out with your bat ears. Seriously I need to work an invite to this party next year. Of course a good Catwoman outfit would also be an appropriate sexy complement.






3) Stephen Hawking: Now this may be more than you're willing to commit to, but you have to love the motorized wheel chair and only talking via a computerized voice. Screw the sensitive types that may be conscious of the using the handicapped as a costume.









4) Leopard dude: Seriously, per the internet caption, this is Heidi Klum's personal trainer and what he wore to her party. Maybe a little out of hand but I'm sure this dude had a load of ass to choose from. Any girls that might read this - feel free to comment.






Vokoun = brick wall!
So, Blues lost 4-0 to the Florisa Panthers last night. I'm coming to the conclusion that the grinding style and personality of this team is just not going to be enough to match the firepower of most of the teams in the NHL. Mason will keep us in games and EJohnson and Pietrangelo will be very good in coming years, but relying upon on Kariya, Tkachuck, Berlund, Oshie, Boyes, and Perron to score goals every night is just not going to lead to long-term success. We had one shot in the second period last night. Which tells me we had little or no sustained pressure in the offensive zone for an entire 20 minute span. Unacceptable. It's not like the Panthers are going to be threatening for the Cup this year. Vokoun is world class, but having to stop only one shot is light work to say the least. I'm ponderng solutions, but it is clear we could use some speed and another sniper/scorer on the first two scoring lines, especially if McDonald is going to be out for any time due to his head first crash into the boards last night. I love the workman-like, bring your lunch pale efforts that the Blues have put up so far this year. But, at some point, we need to upgrade and get some glamour player with consistent scoring potential. So, let the trade rumors begin . . .