Okay, so news broke over the weekend that Tiger was involved in a 'serious' accident. He ran into a fire hydrant in his neighbors yard at 2:30a in the morning on Friday after Thanksgiving. Taken to hospital with facial lacerations, police and parameds on scene, wife Elin broke out back window of Escalade with golf club, no alcohol involved. Hmmm, possible explanations have ranged from dog/cat interference to Elin throwing a fit over an alleged affair. Tiger is being tightlipped and calling the events leading up to the accident 'embarrassing' and 'private'. Using his words, I've come up with a list of my own on what might have happened:
- Dude was hungry and needed a crave case
- Learned of Walmart's doorbuster deals and urgently needed to get his hands on the cheapest off-brand HD TV for the garage
- Was sick of changing diapers
- Grew tired of listening to his swimsuit model wife bitch and moan about how few diamonds she has and just 'had to get away'
- Remembered that he left his 'special putter at the course and needed to retrieve it for some night putting, you know, putting at night
- Was really giving the neighbor a lawn job for not inviting him over a party the night before
- Was testing the off road capabilities of the Escalade and thought, 'Watch this baby take on that fire hydrant'.
- Dropped a stogey on his new, prototype golf pants - water and wind proof but not fireproof
- Was headed into town for a loaf of bread and a quart of milk
- Headed to meetup with his Cialis source
- Heard Phil was coming in on an early flight and wanted to spread nails & other debris on the runway
- Was hitting a new danceclub in town that plays only Cablinasian techno hits
- Forgot he ordered a pizza three hours earlier and was trying to make up the time by cutting through the nighbor's yard
- Was juggling cell phones while driving, trying to figure out which one was the illicit, unpaid one that he lets the hookers use
- Thought the hydrant was really a paparrazzi camera placement
